Best thing I heard today

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K is a sneaky child, especially at bedtime. He will act like he is asleep, just to turn on his light to read or eat some pilfered candy after we tiptoe out of the room. Every now and then I'll wonder out loud where the new iPad is (we have 2-don't even). At about the time I realize it's not where I left it, I hear sounds coming from their shared room. 

 He puts the iPad under his pillow before bedtime. Too smart.
I'd just love to know what he thinks of us when we don't catch him. He is probably snickering to himself, "Those idiots. And they call themselves parents," as he plots his next move to completely lobotomize us. 

Lately, however, K has been either biting his nails, breaking Legos apart with his teeth, or eating something he isn't supposed to. I know this because I have to lay with A in his bed until he goes to sleep, which takes a while when there is crunching sounds coming from across the room. I don't really even know what he is doing. So the past two nights, I've had to yell at him to "GIT IT OUT! OUT OF YOUR MOUTH." Don't worry, my kids know when they hear the twang come out that Mama means business. But I usually yell a couple of more times before doing anything about it. Yes, I know that defies all parenting advice. Yes, I do occasionally follow through on punishment. No, it does not help 50% of the time.

Anyways, after yelling at him twice, he bit whatever it was so softly I could barely hear it. But it was there. 

Me: "OUT! GIT IT OUT!"

K: "Aww. How did you know? You don't have super hearing!"

Yes, kid, I do. Sorry not sorry.

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